So in my time as a human I have hid behind many masks.
Born as the youngest boy to a single alcoholic mother, my coping skills were immense. I wanted to find joy in most days as I was surrounded by depression. A cover as a fun loving, “party boy” gained me many friends in a similar minded pack. It also gave me a misguided path of nonsense. While others learned in school, I looked for ways to connect with my undiagnosed A.D.D. When I found alcohol & drugs, similar minds followed “ a friend with weed is a friend indeed”. My early adolescence was filled with heroic fantastical mentors. Guys that I wanted to emulate that seemed cooler than me. It caused me to lose interest in education early on “those squares” and pushed me to consider going to work and making a buck.
I have gained a clarity in my sobriety that has helped me to look further internally at root causes to move past and let go of.
The sun is shining again…
The attraction to similar minded people caused me to waste years and fortunes in a mindless effort. I didn’t have a clear path, when using drugs and alcohol but still fit in with a large group of similar mindsets. In the last few years of my current sobriety, I have come to terms with my history. I have forgiven myself and looked internally for a self acceptance, rather than public adulation. Although I still find myself in positions of open feedback from others as a sales rep. and a Coach. I am still trying to learn to work within my own level of content ness and block out some of the negative baggage others may try and share along the journey. I’ve carried others bags willingly for a life time and am now trying to lighten the load and focus on my own personal desires for peace.
I have gained a clarity in my sobriety that has helped me to look further internally at root causes to move past and let go of. The sun is shining again…